Mail From Williams Nana

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Here is a copy of my correspondence with Mr. Williams Nana - a scammer.  I'll add to this post as e-mails progress.  Hope you enjoy reading this crap as much as I enjoyed responding to it!

Most Recent Addition: 10/17/2010



Sent: Saturday, October 09, 2010 2:24 AM
To: undisclosed recipients: [aka shit load of people]
Subject: From Mr. Williams Nana

From Mr. Williams Nana,
 
Attention: Dear Friend
This message might meet you in utmost surprise. However, it’s just my urgent need for foreign partner that made me to contact you for this transaction. I got your contact from internet search while I was searching for a foreign partner. I am Williams Nana. A banker by profession in Burkina-Faso, West Africa and currently holding the post of secretary to foreign remittance director in our bank. I need your urgent assistance in transferring the left over funds of ($7.6Million Dollars) belong to our late customer who died along with his entire family during the Iraq crisis on October 2006.
 
The deceased customer used his wife as the next of kin but unfortunately the wife died along side with him leaving nobody for the claim. According to our banking policy if the fund remains unclaimed for the period of 5years then the fund will be transfer into the reserve bank as unclaimed bill. I don’t want the fund to go into the bank treasury and as such, let’s claim the fund now. You can see the news on BBC and CNN regarding their death.
 
[Links Removed]
 
Hence; I am inviting you for a business deal where this money can be shared between us in the ratio of 60% for me and 40% for you if you agree to handle this business with me. Further details of the transfer will be forwarded to you as soon as I receive your return mail immediately as soon as you receive this letter. Trusting to hear from you immediately.
Thanks & Best Regards, 
Mr. Williams Nana





________________________________________________

[Response Sent 10/09/2010]

Dear Mr. Williams Nana,

I stand met in utmost surprise and am so terribly pleased you have chosen me, of all the people in the world, to partake in this outstanding opportunity. I dare say a sum of some $7.6 million dollars would certainly increase my quality of living. However, It is hard for me to believe that a person who currently holds the post of secretary to foreign remittance director would contact a man of such random means in favor of people better known and much closer. Of course, our lady of fortune is known to work randomly and mysteriously (If you know how slot machines work, I would certainly like to know). Alas, I fear that my inability to speak English - I am fluent only in babble - will have a horrific impact on whatever relationship you wished formed. Furthermore, I am afraid that your e-mail address is not entirely representative of the post you hold - is your bank working with Google to cut down on the cost of maintaining servers? That seems like something a bank would do - it is necessary to save those pennies!

At any rate, now that we are friends, I would like you to review the following story for me, as I am not entirely sure what it means - I'm fluent in Babble only, you know. This should not take very long, as the writing is not very complex and is straightforward.

[I pasted a copy of Jonathan Swift's A Tale of A Tub which is not only exceedingly long, but thoroughly complicated and anything except straightforward]

Well, what did you think? I'm not entirely sure what it means, but considering how you hold a fairly important position in what appears to be a very large bank, I imagine you are an educated man. This, as you have certainly surmised, is good fortune for me! I am a man of only meager learning. Any help you could give me with this is greatly appreciated. After that, I would be more than happy to provide you with my bank account number so that we might launder this money around and put it into more appreciable hands.

Your Dearest Friend (And With Great Thanks and Caring),



Moderator of the Comments



p.s. my favorite color is blue, what is yours? My guess is red.


________________________________________________


Sent: Monday, October 11, 2010 2:18 AM
To: Comment Moderation
Subject: THE DETAILS OF THE TRANSACTION.

Dear  Friend,
 
Thanks for your response. Forgive my indignation if this message comes to you as a surprise and may offend your personality for contacting you without your prior consent and writing through this channel. I got your contact from the professional data base found in the internet yahoo tourist search, when I was searching for a reliable partner. My Name is Mr. Williams Nana.
 
I am a family man with two children.  I am assuring you 100% risk free in this business as long as you follow up my directives. As an insider here in the bank I shall be passing all the necessary information required to you accordingly for the success of this very deal. I have done all the underground work for the success of this transaction before contacting you. As it may interest you to know that the late depositor is a foreigner and his Name is Mr. MOHAMMAD RAHMAN, he is from IRAQ Nationality. For this reason, a foreigner is needed to stand as the next of kin to the deceased customer before the bank could approve the release of the said fund. This is why I contacted you. You must assure me of your complete sincerity and readiness in this transaction as I stand firm to tell you that this project is as good as accomplished provided you shall abide by its modalities. Bear in mind that the bank must not know that I am the one who contacted you to stand for this claim please; you must protect my interest all through, while I shall stand to back you up for any question the bank might ask you concerning the deceased customer.

I wish to let you understand that you must not in any way discuss or disclose this very transaction with any third party and you must not respond to any mail without my prior concept and instruction, whether to the bank or to anyone without letting me know, even if you receives any other proposal of this nature, do forward it to me, because the bank investigating and monitoring unit may need to verify if you are the real next of kin to the deceased customer by contacting you through different means, maybe by sending you proposal of different types, with different bank names, different amount of money, huge and small amount, different country names and lots more, but that will be after you must have submitted your application form by asking the bank investigating unit to verify and ascertain the legitimacy of your claim. As you can see if the bank finds anything on the contrary that will jeopardize our chances of having this funds claimed and transferred to your nominated bank account overseas. In a nutshell do not respond to any other related message until we are through with this pls. It may interest you to understand that my reason of initiating this transaction was because what I receive as salary even as an officer here in the bank is nothing but a peanut. But I know that with this ample opportunity, both of us shall have enough to take care of our families and as well excel financially.
 
Now after going through this mail response and you know you are ready to claim this $7,600,000.00, then do write back immediately to re-assure me of your capability to claim the above stated funds as I said before 60% is for me and 40% for you if you agree to handle this business with me Like as I earlier on stated you have absolutely nothing to fear about because everything is under control. Feel free to ask me any question you need to know concerning this transaction. I am here to protect you until this fund hits your nominated bank account. For me to understand more of you person, I need the following information’s below so that I can draft Notification Letter of Claim and send to you for you to forward it to the bank. I need this information’s below: 

(1) YOUR FULL NAME:..........
(2) YOUR AGE: ..............
(3) YOUR SEX:................. 
(4) YOUR CONTRY................
(5) YOUR ADDRESS....................
(6) YOUR OCCUPATION...................
(7) YOUR POSITION IN THE OFFICE........
(8) YOUR MARITAL STATUS.............. 
(9) YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER.........
 

Waiting for your mail and call as urgency implies. My  Number is +226 76 24 18 87
Thanks Mr. Williams Nana.


________________________________________________

[Response Sent  10/12/2010]

My Dear Mr. Williams Nana,

I find myself greatly disheartened to hear of the plight conferred upon your family.  Dare I say that no man should have to suffer the earning of only a peanut; especially a man of such significant title within a bank of such fine standing.  As stated in my earlier e-mail, I am more than happy to assist you in laundering this money.  40% of $7,600,000.00 is a substantial sum.  I imagine your family will be able to purchase an enormous amount of peanuts with $4,560,000.  In fact, I will venture the guess you will buy much more than peanuts with the money!

Now, of some concern to me is your failure to answer my questions concerning Jonathan Swift's A Tale of A Tub.  As you are well aware, I am not fluent in English - I speak Babble, as you no doubt recall.  His writing intrigues me a great deal.  For example, I am not entirely sure I understand his use of "digressions."  Alas, I digress.  Instead of helping me with A Tale of a Tub, perhaps you could assist me in some other endeavor.  When Swift writes in A Modest Proposal of eating the children of Irish women, do you think he is serious?  I have attached a copy of his writing to this e-mail for your close consideration.  I have no doubt that a man of your title is well educated and can provide me with the answers I seek. 
Now, on to business.  You have requested some information from me, and you will find it listed below:
  1. Aldus Huffington IV
  2. 45
  3. Yes Please!  Just kidding, I'm male.  You probably guessed that.
  4. The United States of America
  5. 732 N Dale Mabry Hwy., Tampa, FL 33609 [Sex shop in Tampa]
  6. Pecuniary Cleaning, LLC.[Just good word play]
  7. Secretary of Internal Examination and Process
  8. Single
  9. I do not own a phone; they cause cancer of the brain.  Ergo, I prefer communicating exclusively by e-mail. 
As to your request for my complete submission and censor, I do hereby swear upon my status as as a member of the Borg tribe.  I do hope my cooperation in this matter serves your interests well - and mine too of course!  From the sincerity in your e-mail, I can tell that you are a man beyond reproach. What luck have I in being discovered via a yahoo tourist search.  At first I was somewhat skeptical, as you can imagine.  It often seems that many e-mails obtained from out of the blue, and especially those sent to an address designed with the explicit intent to moderate comments, are often fraudulent.  Nonetheless, I am sure you are a man of fine Christian standing.  Tell me, now that we are friends, are you a Christian Williams?  I often struggle with faith - it requires a great deal of reflection and deliberation.  Kierkegaard was a man of faith and he struggled.  Do you believe in a teleological suspension of the ethical as he proposed in Fear and Trembling?  I dare say the whole argument sums up his feelings on the matter of faith.  Does it sum up yours?

While we are at it, what do you think of all these scams coming out of Nigeria?  Thankfully, your bank is not located there, otherwise I probably would not have grown to trust you so much.  Is that strange?  I feel as though we are very good friends even though we have never met and only exchanged emails twice.  Well, at any rate, get back to me with your back account number so I can initiate the transfer of funds.  That's how it works right?

With great trust and feelings of friendship,


Aldus
Moderator of the Comments

P.S. I've pasted a copy of A Modest Proposal for your reading enjoyment.  Don't forget my question - it is very important that I understand whether or not Swift seriously means to eat Irish children. 

 ________________________________________________


Sent: Wednesday, October 13, 2010 2:36 AM
To: Comment Moderation
Subject: THE APPLICATION LETTER SEND IT TO THE BANK AND GET BACK TO ME.

Dear Huffington,
 
Thanks so much for your response to my proposal. I wish to state that I am most delighted to work out this very business proposal with you. Like I stated in my first mail, I explained all in its details, there would be no need for me to repeat myself. For us to understand ourselves better, my name is: Mr. Williams Nana.  I am a citizen of this very country, Burkina Faso . Occupation: Banker. Qualification M.B.A in Economics. Working Experience: (T.I.C) Insurance Banjul Gambia & Presently In Bank of Africa (BOA) Ouagadougou Burkina-Faso. Marital status: I am married with 2 children.
 
However I would plead with you to take this matter very serious as you have never done in anything else in life because it is a life time opportunity. Having said that, do not disclose this very matter to any third party as I said earlier and again, do not respond to any other mail relating a transaction of this nature without letting me know. I want to believe that we are in agreement. Do not hesitate to send the below letter of application to the bank immediately. And as you send the letter to the bank do let me know by calling me on phone or notifying me by mail.
 
I have attached the copy of the text of application Letter which you will fill and send to the bank as the next of kin to the deceased customer, so kindly complete the required gaps  and send it to the bank through e-mail for processing.
 
If there is any other information you need concerning the said fund, please feel free to call me on +226 76 24 18 87 
 
I wait your urgent response
 
Mr. Williams Nana. 
 
 
 
Below are  the Application Letter of Claim  send it to the bank through e-mail
........................................................................................................................
  
Attn: Dr. Bill  Zongo.
Director Foreign Remittance Dept
Bank of Africa (BOA)
Ouagadougou Burkina Faso
E-mail: boa.org_bf@africamail.com

............................................................................................................................

  
THIS IS APPLICATION FOR TRANSFER OF FUND OF MY BUSINESS ASSOCIATE LATE MR. MOHAMMAD RAHMAN OF IRAQ .
 

SIR,

MY NAME IS ............................................, OF THE ADDRESS STATED BELOW:
 
NAME:..........................
 
TEL: ...............................
 
FAX:............................
 
AGE:............................
 
OCCUPATION:...........................
 
CITY: ...................................
 
COUNTRY: ............................
 
I HEREBY APPLY FOR THE RELEASE OF MY LATE ASSOCIATE’S LEFT-OVER FUND IN YOUR BANK. MY LATE BUSNESS ASSOCIATE (MR. MOHAMMAD RAHMAN, OF IRAQ NATIONALITY) WHO DIED ALONG WITH HIS ENTIRE FAMILY IN A PLANE CRASH ON 31/07/2000. THE FAMILY MEMBERS HAVE NOW ASKED ME TO APPLY FOR THE PAYMENT OF HIS LEFT FUND IN YOUR BANK AS HIS NEXT OF KIN. HIS ACCOUNT NUMBER IN YOUR BANK IS :( XX142566BOA 56231) WITH THIS, I REQUEST THAT THE BALANCE IN HIS ACCOUNT WHICH THE TOTAL AMOUNT IS THE SUM OF ($7.6MILLION USD) SHOULD BE TRANSFER TO MY ACCOUNT AS STATED BELOW:
 
NAME: ..............................
 
BANK NAME:.............................
 
BANK ADDRESS............................
 
ACCOUNT NO: ........................................
 
SWIFT CODE:...........................................
 
TEL:........................................................
 
FAX...................................................
 
CITY: .............................................
 
COUNTRY:..............................................
 
I WILL BE VERY MUCH HAPPY IF MY NOTIFICATION LETTER OF CLAIM WILL BE GIVEN AN URGENT ATTENTION AND LET ME KNOW THE NECESSARY REQUIREMENTS FOR THE RELEASE OF MY INHERITANCE FUND TO ME WITHOUT ANY DELAY.

YOURS FAITHFULLY

 
 ________________________________________________


[Sent 10/14/2010]

Dear Williams,

Thank you so very much for responding to me in a timely manner.  I apologize for the delay in my own response, I have currently been on vacation.  At any rate, in two e-mails now, you have failed to answer questions which are very important to me.  I desperately require to know their answers.  Before I fill out this form which you have supplied, I will need you to answer them.  Once that occurs, I will forward my information to Dr. Bill Zongo without delay.  In short, this is what I require.

  1. What is your favorite color? (Mine is Blue)
  2. Is Jonathan Swift really proposing we eat Irish children in A Modest Proposal?
  3. Your e-mail account has suddenly changed.  Is your bank currently working with yahoo to cut down on communication costs?
  4. Are you a Christian, Williams?  If so, do you struggle with your faith?
  5. What are your opinions concerning same-sex marriage?
  6. From what account will Dr. Zongo be transferring funds?  My bank would like to know so the transaction is not disrupted.
Answers to these will satisfy me greatly!  In other news, I have recently received an e-mail from Jafaari Bilal, Personal Assistant Manager Of African Development Bank.  He presents an offer very similar to your own; the only difference is that the Iraqi man in need of kin has a sum of some $10,000,000.00 dollars.  Do you know this man?  He appears to work for a rival bank.  Perhaps the two of us should go into business with him.  You can I could split the amount 60-40.  That would give you an additional amount of $4,200,000.00 dollars.  A very nice return, if you ask me.  Alas, I do not know.  As you are the one with an M.B.A. in Economics, I would ultimately leave this decision in your hands.  Personally, I think Mr. Bilal may be trying to scam us. 

Finally, I may prefer to use a PayPal account for the transfer of funds, as I would be better able to hide the funds from the Internal Revenue Service.  I do not know how taxes work where you are from, but here than can be a real pain in the bottom.  Either way, figure out what bank account the funds will be arriving from, so I can prepare for their arrival in advance. 

Most Sincerely and With Gratitude,




Aldus
Moderator of the Comments. 

P.S. I have pasted another copy of Swift's A Modest Proposal should you need it.

 ________________________________________________

[I haven't heard from Williams in a few days, so I decided to e-mail Dr. Bill Zongo from above.  Maybe they are on to me]

[SENT 10/16/2010]

Hello Dr. Zongo,
My name is Aldus Huffington.  I have recently been contacted by Mr. Williams Nana concerning a business opportunity.  Needless to say, I am terribly excited.
Mr. Nana's has instructed me to fill out an application for "TRANSFER OF FUND OF MY BUSINESS ASSOCIATE LATE MR. MOHAMMAD RAHMAN OF IRAQ." and send it to you.

Here we are:

Name:        Aldus Huffington IV
Address:    732 N Dale Mabry Hwy., Tampa, FL 33609 - United States [Still a sex shop in Florida]
Tel:            As they cause cancer of the brain, I do not own one.  (You're a Doctor, so you probably already know this)
Fax:            Not sure what this is.
Age:            45
Occ:            Secretary of Internal Examination and Process
Hope this helps. 

In other news, what are your plans for this weekend?  I was thinking of seeing that new Jackass movie.  Those fellas sure like to stir up a ruckus.  Is that movie playing in Africa or wherever you are?  I sure hope so.  I know Africa is facing some serious economic/poverty/aids related issues, but the thought of not having access to Jackass would really be a travesty.  Remember the healing power of laughter!  Speaking of that, in your medical opinion, is laughter really all that good at healing?  If it is, I propose we give out free copies of South Park in order to cure AIDS.
Well, let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.

By the way, Williams hasn't answered some of my questions, so maybe you can help.
  1. What is your favorite color? (Mine is Blue)
  2. Is Jonathan Swift really proposing we eat Irish children in A Modest Proposal?
  3.  Are you a Christian, Dr. Zongo?  If so, do you struggle with your faith?
  4. What are your opinions concerning same-sex marriage?
  5. If you had one wish, what would it be?  (I would wish for everlasting kittens)

    Happy Day,


    Aldus

    ________________________________________________
    [After writing Zongo, I sent another message along to Williams]
    [SENT 10/17/2010]

    Hey There Williams!

    Just to let you know, I sent that application letter to Dr. Zongo.  I hope you can understand my excitement in this matter!  I told my girlfriend (I'm a bit of a playboy, you should know) about this.  Don't worry, she doesn't really know what is going on - women are stupid creatures.  Is your wife stupid?  I'll be honest Williams, it seems every woman I have ever dated is only interested in my wallet.  This, as you have no doubt surmised, is precisely why I am broke.  Oh well, that's about to change, baby!  By the way, I attached a photo of my woman and I.  I figured you might like to have a picture of the person you're dealing with - it sure would make me more comfortable.  Can I have a picture of you and your children? 

    Speaking of keeping our secret safe, do you think we should develop code names?  I could change my email address so people would have difficulty tracking our conversations.  This seems like a good idea - it also explains why your email address changed.  You are a wise man Williams, I should have known it had nothing to do with your bank outsourcing their email.  You're flying under the radar, man!

    Here is my girlfriend and I:
    [Ha!]
    Just kidding, Williams!  That is just how I feel about her (raping me for everything I have - clever right?).  Here is the real picture:
    [British Millionaire Tony Ellis, his wife Judie and their seriously real karaoke singing robot]

    Don't ask about the damn robot.  It's a long story which ends in an annoying mistake (she wanted to buy it - thought it was "cute").  I'll tell you what's cute, wasting $30,000.00 on a damned robot that doesn't do anything . . .

    At any rate, her name is Billie.  What's your wife's name?  While were on it, what are the names of your children?  Do they like American baseball?  I can't stand it.  Seriously, who would pay $8.00 a beer to watch a bunch of dudes swing sticks at a little ball?  NASCAR, now that's a sport I can get behind - $8.00 beer included.  You should give me your address, so I can send your kids some Tony Stewart ("Smoke", baby!) hats.  Here is a picture of Tony Stewart thinking big on race day: 
    [Actually Tony Stewart thinking big on race day or something]
    Now there is a a Red-Blooded American.  How much does beer cost where you are from?  Do you have Corona?  I prefer Dos-Equis. 

    Well, get back to me with what Dr. Zongo has to say. 



    With Love, Excitement, and Caring,



    Aldus

    1 comments:

    Monica said...

    This is very funny. I also got a message from Williams Nana, but I can't be bothered to engage with him. I do admire you for your efforts, though. I just don't have the energy! Still, it's a good thing that somebody is exposing him and this is why I'm posting here now. It is possible that there are naive people who might get entangled in his schemes. His message to me was so obviously a scam that I decided to google him, and this is how I got to this page. He sent me a message through facebook, as if lawyers did that all the time! (In my case he is a lawyer, not a banker.) He is also offering me millions, of course. And his email address is a google address! The cheek!

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